Most living, breathing human beings can attest to the crippling effects that the fear of failure can have on their egos. Presumably, failing is regarded as an embarrassing handicap in a person’s ability to successfully complete something. In order to avoid dissatisfaction and disappointment within themselves, people sometimes exhaust all efforts choosing not to surrender to an impossible task.

Those involved in serious relationships, friendship or otherwise, often remain committed to their significant others despite frequent arguing that ultimately prevents the relationship from moving forward healthfully. While arguments can sometimes be a useful tool for conflict management and intellectual understanding, one must examine the dynamics of the relationship in question to determine if the light at the end of the tunnel is in sight.

In other words, one must decide for themselves when and if it’s time to sever the ties when fighting has consumed their relationship. While it can be difficult and painful to contemplate letting go of something you’ve worked hard and cared so much for, the risk of damage to your self-worth and mental health can be a serious concern if all options aren’t considered.

Understanding that most relationships have a tendency to experience an argumentative phase once they become more physically or emotionally intimate is crucial. As you progressively become closer to someone, the walls come down and arguments are bound to ensue. But if you find yourself in a perpetual state of fighting with no positive results, it may be time to consider an alternative course of action.

First and foremost, both parties have to be dedicated to the same cause; making the relationship work. When it comes to arguing and reaching some kind of resolution, compromise is almost always called for. All relationships exist because both participants are getting something positive from one another, so it’s important to continue the give and take mentality when it comes to arguments.

When one partner refuses to share any shred of blame and be proactive for the sake of the relationship, it demonstrates a lack of dedication to the other person. Reluctance to admit fault may be a sign of immaturity and/or selfishness and show that the person is not yet ready to be involved in a relationship in which they have an emotional obligation to another. If you have respect for someone, the issue at hand isn’t about determining who is right or wrong, but rather seeing the mutual efforts contribute to the good of the relationship.

Don’t expect to stick the relationship out in hopes you can change the other person. Many who find themselves in unstable or unhappy relationships convince themselves that in time their partner will miraculously morph into the perfect friend or lover. In reality, this rarely happens and really shouldn’t need to happen anyway. This isn’t pottery class. If you are with the right person, there should be no need to change who they are in order to fit the idea of your perfect match. At this point, you are merely trying to force compatibility and chemistry that just may not be there.

However, you can help change the perspective they have on the relationship and the manner in which they handle conflicts. It’s alright to enter a relationship green and be unfamiliar with appropriate ways to handle situations. But as a learning process, it is the responsibility of both parties to recognize when things aren’t working and together discuss the proper actions that should be taken.

Weighing the good times with the bad is a simple, stripped down way in which to examine your satisfaction with the relationship. Create a mental or written list of all the rewards you’ve received from the other person. Think about the things they’ve taught you, the places you’ve gone together and the fun you’ve had. Does it outweigh the stress and frustration of arguing? If it does, it may not for long. This just means you still have enough steam to keep you going for a while more.

Have a practical outlook on your relationship and throw idealism out the window. We all have an outline, certain characteristics or attributes that we expect to find in another person as well as a preconceived rulebook that will come in handy when we start to become serious with someone. But it’s unrealistic to enter any commitment with somebody when you’ve already strategized. Things won’t always work out the way you planned, and remaining in a relationship in pursuit of that romanticized tale you’ve constructed is counter-productive.

At the end of the day, ending a relationship is an extremely personal decision with no clear-cut guidelines instructing how or why. When arguing is a significant part of all communication, you need to reassess what it is that will make you happy. Understand that it isn’t a cowardly or weak decision indicating defeat. It’s simply practical to acknowledge when someone’s presence in your life is destructive to your overall well-being.

If you can leave the relationship knowing you had tried your hardest to make it work, then there’s no reason to feel like a failure. You’ve learned from the situation and have granted yourself the right to be somewhat selfish.

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1. How Arguing Can Strengthen Your Relationship